Do not trust airport baggage handlers

Here is an excerpt from a letter that appeared in Viz magazine a few years ago.

Read and tremble.


Five years ago I worked as a baggage handler at Manchester airport. One day I saw Ulrika Jonsson checking her suitcase in for the the Heathrow Shuttle, so I made my way down to the baggage hall and awaited the 'prize bag'. As colleagues kept watch, the bag was thrown to me inside the aircraft container and I put Ulrika's knickers on my head forthwith. As I opened her washbag and took the top off her Ladyshave, I was awestruck to see a solitary golden pube adorning the razor foil. At this point I was rushed by my excited colleagues just as I was about to put it in my mouth for safe keeping.

...it gets worse, but I think this will do for today.