Many years ago, I had an argument with a London bus driver. In the end, he wouldn´t let me board until I admitted that he was "king of the bus". I told the queue forming behind me "He wants me to say that he is the king of the bus". They laughed. If you are reading this, bus driver, you are are twat.
I´ve had close to a million emails, asking for a picture of one of my guitars. Here it is.
If you are going to have a photo taken, make sure it is in front of a massive stack of books.
Seeing as I´m the king of this website, I can manipulate things to make sure this picture doesn´t appear on the top of the page.