Thursday, 18 October 2007

Real life cartoons

This sort of thing happens every day in German supermarkets. "Do you need anything from the shop?" is almost always answered with "toilet paper and X", with X being milk, eggs, cigarettes or beer.


I should point out that it was actually drawn by one of my bodyguards, Suzanne. (You might need to click on it to actually see what it says)



Many years ago, I worked in an office which employed a very small person. Not a dwarf or midget, but someone who, in a photo, would look average-sized, but in real life, she was very very small. Whenever she spoke, you´d find yourself nodding in agreement while thinking to yourself "but you´re just so small".

Anyway, imagine if you had a whole office full of people like that. You could get some half size chairs, coffee mugs and computers, and set them all to work. When a client came to visit the office, you could pretend that he had doubled in size, for a joke. It would be fantastic. If anyone ever gets on one of those TV programs when the best idea wins a million pounds, suggest this one.

"If you take his name literally, Bin laden actually means ´full up wastepaper basket´which makes him seem much less scary" - letter in Viz magazine, issue 169

11 comments:

Adam O'Connell said...

lol
its /\D/\]\/[ by the way...
I see what you mean, impressive... Nice cartoon too :D very good

God said...

The small person in that office back then. Not called Antonia by any chance? Isn't that the one you slept with?

Anonymous said...

No - it was in the Camden office thought - she was Chinese I think. Tiny.

God Again said...

Dwaaf was definitely in the Camden office. You 'worked' on her 'team'.

Anonymous said...

I know who Draaf is, for chirst sake. I'm saying that the miniture in question in Asian. Dwaaf was not even human.

Anonymous said...

"the miniture in question in Asian"

I meant "is" Asian, obviously.

One day, I'll learn what "edit" means.

God Speaking Through Richard Dawkins said...

Nope. It was definitely Dwaaf. You definitely slept with Dwaaf. I can understand trying to conceal it. Any rational person would.

d notice said...

why is rolf harris in the cartoon?!

Anonymous said...

"god speaking through richard dawkins" haha!

Actually, I heard that God has a new book out. I think it's called "The Richard Dawkins delusions"

also - who'd want to roll dwaarf in flour to find the damp patch?

no thanks.

And apparently, it isn't Rolf Harris, it is supposed to be me. I didn't realise until someone pointed it out, which shows just how good the likeness is.

Anonymous said...

Richard Dawkins is my hero. He taught me how to be a complete cunt and make everyone think they should love me for it.

The socks are sleeping. said...

a little secret we all must let you in on. Despite the illusion that Alan Osler is the anonymous writer here, it is actually Jeremy Clarksons socks come to life, who are now holding Alan hostage, lest he write another fine diatribe against those strange alien worshipping friends of Heinrich Kissinger. Alan is fortunate, however, as Jeremy had just washed his jock-strap, thereby limiting the possible methods of torture. Jebus loves us all.