Tuesday, 11 December 2007

Do not trust airport baggage handlers

Here is an excerpt from a letter that appeared in Viz magazine a few years ago.

Read and tremble.


Five years ago I worked as a baggage handler at Manchester airport. One day I saw Ulrika Jonsson checking her suitcase in for the the Heathrow Shuttle, so I made my way down to the baggage hall and awaited the 'prize bag'. As colleagues kept watch, the bag was thrown to me inside the aircraft container and I put Ulrika's knickers on my head forthwith. As I opened her washbag and took the top off her Ladyshave, I was awestruck to see a solitary golden pube adorning the razor foil. At this point I was rushed by my excited colleagues just as I was about to put it in my mouth for safe keeping.

...it gets worse, but I think this will do for today.

5 comments:

The Vengeance of the Lord said...

It was really dwaaf's baggage. And the golden pube actually did make it into your mouth for safe keeping.

jdav007 said...

Now that I have finished bringing up my breakfast, I must say that was quite an article... And by the way it cannot possibly get worst...

The Metatron said...

Did you know if you google 'Alan Osler's blog' it comes up with the phrase 'What would Jebus do?'.

Anonymous said...

I asked Google to do that, and the losers agreed.

Alan

Wanted: blind palm reader. said...

Some woman told me she could tell a lot about me by reading the lines on my hands. We had been talking for 10 minutes already, so basically all that she told me could have been determined by what she had already picked up about me from our conversation. I was tempted to tell her that she could read my scrotum if she wanted. I chose not to do so, as I half-expected she would take me seriously.